If you were to fly to the moon on gossamer wings you certainly would not want to land on the dark side. 

Well unless you were hiding from the gossamer you stole the wings from. Let’s just say we would want to land on the sunny side of the moon. 

That’s like a vacation. Be it just a week-end or a week or be still my heart a whole month or winter, we all want the experience to be sunshine and glitter.

But! Yes a monkey wrench in the “but.” What happens if you have a bump on the vacation road? Okay, here’s the latest story of vacation gone a titch wrong.

Looking forward to seeing a friend who lives north of me about 250 miles I planned a three day visit. We were going to talk and eat and shop and talk and eat some more and shop and talk. Hummm. 

I am quite a chatty thing it seems. The visit included picking up things for friends who needed this and that. We all do that, put in a small list of important stuff. Costco Muffins, blueberry of course.

Big old jugs of detergent, printer ink, you know the staples of life. I arrived Friday and all was going well with the talking and eating. Did I mention we talked?

Saturday was set aside for a fun day at a county fair. Where of course in between seeing the pigs, (I love the pigs) draft horses, cows, oh so many cows, we chatted and laughed and ate fair food. 

What is it about fair food that I absolutely cannot say “NO” to? I don’t know or really care. It comes once a year and I get my fair share. Get it? “Fair” share.

By the time we got back to the car the thermometer touted a mere 107 degrees. Which is probably why I opted for the large lemonade with a crazy taco salad on the midway for dinner before we headed home. I started to cough a little but attributed it to the heat and my body doesn’t really like that much lemonade. But it was really hot. 

The day ended by sitting outside and watching the stars sparkle and some talk. Yes, more talk. Hey lots of things happen if you only see a friend once a year. Tons to catch up on.

When you are getting a sore throat do you sometimes feel like there’s a ring of fire that nothing can extinguish? 

 Well that throat monster landed smack dab in my pie hole the next day. Not to be put off I plowed ahead as it was shopping day and I had a few lists to fill. 

Late breakfast and off we headed. I kind of felt like I had a fever but really, who takes a thermometer with them on vacation? Okay. I do. But of course the battery was dead so I just pretended that all was right with the world. Eat, shop and eat again. 

Oh and talking. There were more things to buy but I pooped out and we headed home for cool showers. I was leaving the next morning and the rest of the list, only three things, could be filled on the way home.

If you are going to get sick on your vacation, is it best to get it all just before you leave, when you first arrive at your destination or it hits you as you begin the trek home? A vacation can rise and fall at any stop along the way. 

Probably does for many of us. It’s kind of like riding an elevator where the attendant would say, “First floor, fever, aches and pains.” Moving up, ding-ding goes the elevator bell, “Second floor, Fever, sore throat, plugged ears.” 

Oh the operator hit full speed with me. Finally, “Third floor, really hot, sleepy, and that mouth watering atmosphere that calls up things in your tummy that are wanting OUT!”  I hit all three floors.

I had planned to stop at a fruit/vegetable stand to buy fresh stuff. Even pulled into the parking lot. But never got out of the car. Just headed down the road.  I should have just gotten a room but NOOOO not me. Power through, this vacation needed to end. And boy did it.

Got to a superstore at a town half way home with all good intentions to get one more item. Pulled in, parked, opened the door and promptly threw up out said door. 

No forewarning. No, “Here she comes.” Nothing. Just poof, splat. Twice. I grabbed a handful of Kleenex wiped down my door and the darkness parted when I finally drove in my yard.

Trina lives in Eureka, Nevada. Her funny books are available on line wherever you buy books. Or email her at itybytrina@yahoo.com to buy signed copies.